Our Greatest Obstacle to Happiness
Column/Category:
Prosper: The Truth Will Set You Free
Our greatest obstacle to happiness is resistance to life (i.e. resistance to life's natural energy, governing principles, God - whatever name a person wants to give this lifeforce). Our biggest resistance is the fear of being uncomfortable.
Try this: Break down any 'fear' or concern or obstacle - losing in love, a foreclosure on your personal residence, etc. Look at what the WORST that could happen might be in each case. All of any "worst" comes down to "feeling uncomfortable". Seems silly, then, that we should ever fear anything as simple as a feeling of discomfort.
Thus, when we learn to become comfortable with ourselves, without consideration of outside circumstances, people, or situations (because we're our own biggest asset, and our own value is with us as an individual) - when we start out "comfortable", then any success and progress and happiness is much more simple. For starters, there is no longer any fear of loss; from such a position, only gain.
Have a Rock'n Great Day!!!
--CER
"The Sheriff Don' Like It; Rock the Casbah, Rock the Casbah"
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Reader Comments (6)
I agree for the most part. It was a good read to keep your mind working and keep those dustbunnies from setting ing. Id argue though that there are some good forms of fear where that uncomfortableness drives us towards happiness as well. ie the fear of failing something important, or the fear of losing your life or something of that nature?
If you don't love or set your heart on material things, it won't seem like such a loss when you lose them.
I think what you're saying is if we have a good self-esteem we will be willing to take the risks of losing something or someone of value to us, by being willing to invest ourselves into that thing or person and be vulnerable.
Fear is a motivator, sure. But choosing to live in fear so that we're motivated isn't the life for me (I'd done it long enough). The fear of failing something important, or the fear of losing one's life. I think I get the point you seek to make; but both of those examples still fall into a matter of personal comfort. I identified the word 'Frustration' as 'when what's in the outside world doesn't equal what's in my head, or what my mind says it should/could equal.' This frustration can drive a person mad, or it can drive a person to fill that gap with action; or perhaps motivating a change of perspective. It's the nature of man to seek improvement over his/her own life. I think this is where you're making your point that we can use discomfort as a tool for achieving happiness. However, it's the happiness we're seeking to achieve, not the discomfort. There are those who make self-proclaimed martyrs of their lives by seeking the latter in the name of a pretend nobility.
Thanks for your comment.
--Dave Charbonneau, CER
I'm advocating happiness because that is my objective; not as a safety value to prepare for loss. I could have been more effective in making my point by separating the 'happiness' from the 'prospering' in my original post.
Nevertheless, I am saying that being comfortable with oneself, and fully approving that comfort, is for that self-same purpose alone.
After this is achieved (whether consistently or for the moment), progress toward our desires can appear easier because our minds are clear from all the 'junk' that comes with the fear of loss. Plus, we move into a position of stewardship, where we'll learn from LIFE itself whether we followed principles or went against them. Whether we show 'profit' or 'loss', from where we stand (happy as a being) we gain. Either the reward we sought or the lesson regarding principles.
And as far as our investing ourselves into others and being vulnerable to it's loss, for me personally I'd scrub that language a bit, if not the perspective - as if I were to say those words I would have to accuse myself of using Victim Language and possibly even preparing from the outset to lose. This doesn't mean to hide the fact that loss could happen; sure it could. But following the principles of Stewardship (Rick has that listed around here, somewhere), again, we can see our role in a way that never sees loss because we're dealing in control or utilization rather than ownership. That's a different subject from this post - tho I'm certain it will come up soon.
Thanks again, Onika. Rock on...
--CER
In weighing the worst and the best case scenarios, I only have 2 choices: Feel better or feel worse, short term/long term. That's it! Detachment and taking on the role of the observer is what allows the discomfort to fade. Because it is then that I'm able to give myself the best advice. Once one can master it, it helps one see value everywhere one looks, especially through fear.
Best,
Suz
Isn't it interesting that a simple act of 'choosing' how we feel, taking responsibility and exercising our free-will, can make the whole difference in a day (and in a life). The hard part isn't the choosing; most of the time the hard part is simply remembering that we have that choice available to us.
Thanks for your thoughts. Check back with this site in a day or three; I'll have some links up where we can all connect in a social-networking forum. I'm researching the best options for that, today.
Keep on Rock'n!!!
--Dave, CER